Mixed Feelings
by Mikochan1412
Summary: My first fanfic ever (SO EXCITED!) Ayumi is suffering in the painful memories from Heavenly Host Elementary school. She also has to go through the unrequited love from Satoshi and Naomi. Who will help her to recover from this? An AyuShiki fanfiction. I'm terribly sorry for my bad grammar. Rated T for safety. And enjoy :3
1. Chapter 1

"Ah… So bright… Morning has come already…?"

Ayumi Shinozaki has just woken up. Someone has pulled up the window curtain, and the sunlight came in, forced her eyes to open.

She had stayed up real late last night to finish her Chemistry homework, and after completing it, instead of going to bed, she'd even watch her favorite show on TV. And even worse, it was only 5:00. She sighed, and yawned, wondering if she should go back to sleep or come to school early. And she took the second option.

Ayumi sleepily walked down the stairs, almost stripped and fell. She then opened a fresh box of cereal and grabbed a cup of milk, and began eating while watching TV. "What a lame way to start a fresh week" She thought while having a look at her cats. It seemed like they were all sleeping peacefully. She grabbed her bag and left…

When she arrived at Kirasagi Academy, it was only 6:45 am. Definitely too soon. Her classroom was totally empty. "Seems like I'm the first one at school today!" She thought. "Maybe it's time to check out some desk drawers!" She happily ran through every single drawer in the classroom. She knew that as a class rep, she shouldn't do such childish things. But what else could she do to entertain in an empty school, early in the morning?

Ayumi suddenly stopped. Naomi's table. She could sense something pretty bad. Carefully, she hesitantly put one of her hand in the drawer, and pulled out…a picture….

…_with Seiko happily hugging Naomi, and their smiles are as bright as the sun. However, Seiko's face was replaced by a pitch black spot…._

Ayumi stunned. The picture fell to the ground from her hands. The painful memories from Heavenly Host Elementary school returned. Sprawled corpses lying around, messages that could never be sent, the deadly victim's memoirs, the red dress that dyed with innocent people's blood of Sachiko, the death of her idol Naho,….

"_Seiko and Suzumoto-san…Even Morishige..! They all died! BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID CHARM!"_

And worst of all, her friends' death. A splattered Mayu, an insane Morishige, and a lifeless corpse of Seiko. And it was her fault. No matter how hard she tried to forget, seeing this picture just made her effort became nothing. All meaningless deaths… If she could just be there a bit sooner, if she'd told him the truth, if she could save Suzumoto, then Morishige wouldn't have died like that. _If she didn't tell them to try the charm…_

Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Her lips trembling with pain. _I'm the one who should've died… It should be me instead… _Her whole body shivered. "It was supposed to be m-"

"Shinozaki!" She felt someone's hand on her shoulder and turned back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello and welcome to chapter 2! I'm starting to like this job :3 It's a super boring holiday and this makes me feel waayy better! And I'm trying to update one chappie a day!**

**Thank you for all who have supported/Favorite/Followed! You are my motions to continue this :3**

**Disclaimers: I do NOT own Corpse Party, because I am…a…Giraffe :P (Epic fail trying to be funny)**

**So, ENJOY!**

Dark blue eyes. Short, bleached hair. He was looking at her. One of his hand was on her left shoulder.

"Kishinuma-kun…"

"Are you crying?" He asked, worried. Ayumi wiped her tears and gave him an uneasy smile. She didn't want to make him worry. It was kinda guilty for her to rely on him the whole time while they were at Heavenly Host Elementary school.

"No, I-I'm just… uh… I've just washed my face!" She then realized that her reasoning skill is terrible. But it was too late to fix it.

"Shinozaki… Your eyes are still wet. And your nose is as red as a tomato. I mean- c'mon, I saw you crying." Yoshiki said, somewhat like a detective. He then noticed the picture on the ground and picked it up. _The picture of Seiko and Naomi…_

"Shinozaki…" Yoshiki sighed… Sometimes he wishes that Shinozaki could forget about those painful memories. He just wanted to see a cheerful Ayumi like she used to be. He knew it was hard to forget, but all he wanted was his girl to be happy… And for that, he promised himself that he'd do anything, even if she doesn't love him back. Somehow, a huge part of him tells him not to give up on her, and the other parts know that she is crazy about Satoshi.

"Listen, I know it's hard to forget about them…but always crying and blaming yourself like this, do you really think that this could make them alive once again? Do you think that they like to see you like this? I feel the same way too, but it's time to leave the horrible memories behind and _live_, for yourself, and for the ones who died in that school too." He softly patted her shoulder. Ayumi was still crying. She quickly looked up at him.

"B-But wh-what if they wanted me to die…? What if they hate me? What if they wanted me to pay for their death!? What if-"

"No, they won't. Because…they're our friends. Friends have to forgive each other and supporting each other to surpass their pain. That's what a true friend is." He lent her a hand: "Now stand up. The others will be here any second. You may want to put that picture back, or Naomi'll be mad."

Ayumi stood up, wiped her face with the handkerchief. She stuttered a _"thank you" _to him and smiled.

"So….Have you done your homework, Kishinuma-kun? You know that if you forget, I'll have to tell the teacher and you'll get a detention right away, ya know!" Yoshiki smiled. It was definitely better when she was happy and cheerful like this….

…_.until Satoshi and Naomi came in, hand in hand._

Ayumi's expression changed. Yoshiki could see the disappointment in her blue eyes. He could almost, definitely told that she looked exactly like a kitten watching its delicious fish jumped back into the water and nowhere to be found.

"Hey Yoshiki! Class rep!" Naomi and Satoshi waved. "Why don't you two get over here and talk? Before the teacher comes in! I've just bought a brand new video game!" Satoshi happily waving the new CD.

"I'm sorry Mochida-kun, but I'm not interested in-" "OKAY! C'mon Shinozaki let's go! It's the newest part of Deathly Guns!" Yoshiki immediately dragged Ayumi to Satoshi's table.

While Yoshiki, Naomi and Satoshi were discussing about the game, Ayumi just sat there, watching Naomi and Satoshi talking to each other, and shooting daggers at Naomi. _Did Naomi and Satoshi just come in class hand in hand!? Did it mean that they're a couple already?! No no no, maybe it's just my imagination, Satoshi knows that I love him, and there's no way he would reject me! He's too nice for such things…_

And with those feelings tucked in her head, Ayumi has stopped shooting daggers at Naomi and changed her eyes direction to Satoshi, staring at him, like she was totally sucked into his beauty, and helplessly looking at him the whole time.

Yoshiki was playing his game, until he saw Ayumi's dreamy eyes pointed straight in Satoshi.

"Guys, our teacher will be here soon so…er…I guess we should leave this for break time." Yoshiki said and quickly dragged Ayumi as far as possible. The reason was quite simple. He did NOT want Ayumi to look at Satoshi for too long, or she could go crazier about Satoshi, and if Naomi finds out, things could be terrible.

"Hey! Why are you dragging me away like that!? I'm not your pet!" Ayumi angrily stomped toward Yoshiki. Sometimes she just couldn't understand him. He was acting all weird…

"B-because teacher is coming! A-And you're the class rep, so…." He lied.

But it was actually not a lie. About 2 seconds later, the teacher came in.

Sitting in class, while Yoshiki was cursing in his head that why couldn't Ayumi understand his feelings for her and the reason why he separated her from Satoshi, Ayumi thought about Yoshiki's actions, and kept wondering why the hell he was always the one who destroy her romantic moments…

**So that's the end of chapter 2! Hope you all enjoy and I'll try to update the next chap tomorrow! Til' then, farewell!**

**Miko-chan 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello t****here once again! This is the third chapter! Anyway how was your day? I'm totally fine!  
>Hope ya all will enjoy this chapter! I'll make sure there will be some AyuShiki fluff in this chappie! :3<strong>

_After school…._

Satoshi walked Naomi home, without knowing that Ayumi was following them. Yoshiki had to stay up late, because he got a detention for lack of homework. Watching the couple holding hands, talking to each other, Ayumi's blood was filled with jealousy… _So they are a couple already….._

"Damn… It's cold….. I left my jacket at home again…" Ayumi cursed under her breath. And it did cold, even though it was just October. It felt like it was mid-December already. Tiny little snowflakes started to fall down. The nearby trees have turned in to white. Ayumi was shivering. Her little fingers couldn't feel anything. And in front of her, Satoshi was giving Naomi his sweater, holding her hand tighter. Her vision got blinder and dimmer. Was it because of the snow and the cold weather, or her tears started covering her own eyes?

"_It hurts…"_

From a distance, she saw a little figure running toward Satoshi and Naomi.

"Onii-chan! Onee-chan!" It was Yuka. Her smile was as bright as the sun, and could possibly melt the coldness surrounding around her. And when she saw Satoshi and Naomi holding hand, she gave both of them a wolfish grin.

"Satoshi got a girlfriend! Satoshi got a girlfriend!" She started to sing while dancing around them. Satoshi and Naomi just looked at each other and smiled. What a happy scenario…

_But this only made the air surrounding around Ayumi turned colder._

Ayumi has had enough. She turned back and headed to the park near the school. The park bench was empty, so she sat down. Her legs were freezing, and she felt like she just couldn't walk anymore. She wished for someone to care for her, to give her his jacket in this freezing weather, to comfort her when she's sad and to make her feel less lonely. At least someone that could stop the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. _If Ms. Yui could be here… Or Mayu… Or maybe Seiko. Anyone…_

Her nose started running. She tried to stand up to go home before she gets sick. And when she walked, tears just kept falling down on the cold ground covered in snow…

"Shinozaki! Hey!"

She jumped a bit at the sudden call. Then she looked back and her eyes widened.

"K-Kishinuma-kun!" He was running toward her.

"Why are you going home alone? Satoshi and Naomi were finding you to take you home, but-…" He suddenly stopped, and his dark blue eyes widened a bit.

"Did you just cry again, Shinozaki?" He asked, worrying.

_Silent._

"Shinozaki?"

_Still silent._

"Hello? Earth to Shinozaki?"

_Silent._

"HEY!" Yoshiki shouted, impatient.

Ayumi suddenly collapsed on the cold ground. She was crying and wailing like a child.

"WHY DID HE CHOOSE NAOMI OVER ME!? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE!?" Ayumi cried out loud.

"I thought he'd never reject me…" She mumbled.

Yoshiki sat down, pulled her in for a hug. He comforted her, until what was left in her throat were only little hiccups. He gave her his jacket when he noticed that she was shivering.

"You're gonna be alright." He said, while softly patted her back. "I'm always here for you."

Ayumi blushed when he said that. Will he really gonna be there for her? Always like he said? That was when Ayumi smiled a little. It felt so warm, so good when someone care about her, and willing to be a person that listen to her, be a trashcan to pour away all of her sadness. And when she noticed his jacket covering her little shoulders, she buried her face into his shirt to hide away her smile.

"_Thank you…" _She mumbled into his shirt. Yoshiki gave her a soft smile, hugging her tighter. And for a moment, Ayumi just wished that this will never end…

**The end….of chapter 3! I hope you all enjoyed this little piece of mine and wish you a nice weekend! I'll update chapter 4 in Monday! Till then, farewell readers!**

**Miko-chan :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello once again readers :D This is the 4****th**** chapter of Mixed Feelings! Enjoy the story!**

**My special thanks to xXChaosJojoXx, Secutor145, Marcella153 and Lily1202 for following :D**

**Thank you xXChaosJojoXx, shannonb7593, afhl10 and LightningRS for the favorite :3**

**And thank you Mimiko7970(Guest), Guest(Guest), TheOtakuGirl(Guest), Sushikun98(Guest) and idontcareaboutmyname for the great reviews 3**

**AND TO NO FURTHER A-DO, LET'S START!**

_In the next morning…_

Yoshiki has woken up. He barely slept last night, because he spent all night thinking about Ayumi. He remembered the way she buried her face into his shirt, stuttered a "thank you" to him and how warm it was in the freezing weather. He also wondered if he could move out of her "friend zone" and take a step closer. Or at least she'd feel better with him around, he hoped. And he wondered if she could feel the same way…

And more importantly, she could be happier, and more cheerful like she used to be.

He saw Naomi and Satoshi talking in the school hall. And Ayumi came. Her smile turned into a frown when she saw that. He noticed the way she took a deep breathe, then a huge smile appeared on her face. She then ran towards them.

"Hey there love birds!" She happily shouted out. Naomi and Satoshi turned back to see her. They talked for a while and he listened. The bell rang, and before Satoshi took Naomi to her class, he told Ayumi:

"Class rep… um… I know that you had some… feelings for me before, but… I'm very sorry, okay? And I'm glad to be your friend."

"What?! I was just k-kidding on that! Did you really believe that I actually have a crush on you? Hahaha…! Oh Mochida-kun, you're so naïve!" Ayumi, oddly, returned him a huge grin.

"W-well… That's good! I was kinda scared that you have a crush on me Shinozaki-chan! If that's the case, then I can be relieved now. Thank God!" He gave her a wolfish grin, and waved goodbye.

Ayumi happily waved goodbye at him, and when he turned away, her expression fell. Her eyes were getting watery. And at that moment, Yoshiki knew that the whole things were fake. Her happy smile, her huge grin, her cheerful voice,… He knew that she has given up on Satoshi. He didn't even know how to express his feelings. He was, definitely happy because she has given up, however, still found guilty because he knew that her heart was already broken. The only thing he could do was to comfort her. So he turned around and walked back towards her.

Ayumi noticed that Yoshiki was coming, so she quickly wiped away the tears. She just didn't want to make him worry, that's all.

"Shinozaki, I-" The bell rang again, forcing all the students who were playing get back to class.

"Meet me at the park after school, Kishinuma-kun." Ayumi told him before getting herself back to class. _"Please…" _She looked away to hide her tears. This time, she needed someone to listen to her feelings and comforting her.

"Sure thing. I'll be there." Yoshiki said. It seemed like she really, really need someone to be there for her. And he was willing to skip his part-time job to spend some times with her, because something in his mind kept telling him that this could be his one and only chance.

**Sorry because this chapter is pretty short :P I've been pretty busy these days:P. The next chapter will be the last chapter. And of course, I'll begin a new story after the 5****th**** chapter. AND I'LL DEFINITELY HAVE SOME REAL NICE FLUFF IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! SO DON'T YA WORRY!**

**So anyway, thank you all for supporting, I hope you enjoyed, chapter 5 will be updated on Tuesday. Till then, farewell readers!**

**Leaving a review is always appreciated!**

**Miko-chan :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hellooooooo again readers! This is the last chapter of Mixed Feelings! Thank you lots and lots for the one who has spent their time reading this, following, favorite, and leaving a review! PREPARE FOR SOME FLUFFFFFFFF!**

Yoshiki kept thinking about the afternoon at the park. What will Ayumi say? Will he be able to confess his undying love with her? Will she accept it? Or will she reject him and he may lose his friendship forever? Will she even BE there? Too many questions!

"KISHINUMA!" Yoshiki jumped about 6 meters high.

"You've got the guts to ignore my lecture! Do you want to get ANOTHER detention in this week?! Focus on the task, this will be on your exam next week!" The teacher kept yelling and spitting at him. Man, sometimes he just wishes that Ms. Yui could be here. And from behind, he heard Ayumi giggled. His face turned bright red like a tomato. Great… Well, at least he made her smile, right? Right?!

After about 3 more hours of learning, Yoshiki couldn't express how happy he was when the bell rang. And he rushed out of the school, heading for the park.

"Brrring! Brrrrrring!" His phone suddenly rang. Yep. It was his boss.

"Yoshiki, come to the store right now! You're late!" Gosh… WHY NOW!?

And instead of heading to the park, he turned back and went to the store. And like he has expected, his boss was angry.

"You skipped the job yesterday, and you're trying to skip it again?!" The boss said with a grumpy tone.

"C'mon old Gramps, I had a detention yesterday! And I have to meet someone right now! I'm in a hurry!" Yoshiki sighed.

"Oh yeah? And who is this "someone"?"

"W-well you don't need to know! Can I go now? She's waiting!" Yoshiki became impatient.

"Ah… A "she" huh? Then I guess you can go." His boss said with a smile. Yoshiki stunned. He didn't expect it to be this easy.

"R-Really? I CAN go?" He stuttered.

"Man, ain't nothing can stop L-O-V-E!" The man gave him a huge grin. "Ya know what, go and confess your UNDYING LOVE to her! I don't wanna be the one who ruins everything! NOW GO! GO GO GO!" He screamed out loud.

"Geez, thanks a bunch old man! I owe you one!" Yoshiki grinned and rushed out like a jet. And from behind, the owner of the store was giving him a thumbs up and yelled something like "good luck".

"_He's not here yet…"_

Ayumi had been sitting there for half an hour, waiting for Yoshiki. Thinking about what she said to Satoshi this morning was too much for her little fragile heart. She was desperate for someone to understand her and comfort her.

Yet he wasn't there. Half-a-hour. She felt like she had been wasting her time. The weather was freezing, too. She would rather go home and feed her cats, instead of sitting here, wasting 30 minutes of her life. But somehow she managed to stay anyway.

Another 15 minutes. She became impatient. What the hell took him so damned long!?

And after another 15 minutes passed by, she stood up. _She has decided._

"_I thought you'd always be here for me… Kishinuma-kun." _She wiped the tear that was streaming down her face. _"You lied."_

She turned and walked away.

…

"WAIT! SHINOZAKI!"

"Ah..?"

_He was right there._

Yoshiki finally caught up with Ayumi. He was panting heavily.

"I'm sorry because I'm late, Shinozaki. I have to cancel my part-time job, so I met my boss and-"

"It's okay. At least you're here." Ayumi smiled a little. She was happy because he made it. Both of them went back to the park bench.

Then a very, very awkward silence came in between them.

….

"Um… so… Kishinuma-kun… I'm glad you didn't have detention today." Ayumi broke the silence.

_Bravo. What a way to start a conversation._

…_..Silence….._

"Shinozaki, um… about this morning…" Yoshiki finally managed to say something.

"I lied…" She said, gave up.

"I'm sorry about that. You… must be heartbroken…"

"_Oh my god what the hell am I saying?! She must have been heartbroken! It's obvious!" He thought._

"Hey, Kishinuma-kun. Please answer this question truthfully. Have you ever been rejected before? Like, when you see your crush in love with someone else?"

"Well- I…" Yoshiki didn't know what to say. The answer was too obvious.

"Yes…" He managed to say it.

Ayumi's eyes widened. Curiosity flowed through her blood.

"M-Maybe you can tell me… your story. 'Cause you've already know mine." She said. "It might make me feel better."

Yoshiki gasped. He knew he had no other choice. _This is the moment._

"I… uh… well… I liked a girl since my first year in this school." He said.

"What else?!" Ayumi became impatient. "Just spit it out already!"

Yoshiki took a deep breath. "She's a good girl, and I'm the bad boy. And she saved me once. I haven't thanked her yet for what she had done for me that day, though…" He said, his face flush red.

"…But she was crazy about another boy. That guy was nice and friendly, and be loved by everyone. And me? A total loser. An annoying brat in people's eyes. Even the teachers. And slowly, I felt like she finds me an annoying, arrogant brat…" Yoshiki's voice lowered down.

"However, she finally acknowledged me, thanks to a strange event."

"Since that event, she isn't the person she used to be. Always sad and crying. Unlike the happy, cheerful version of her." Yoshiki's voice became smaller.

"However, I always tried to do my best to bring her back. And even if she doesn't love me back, I still helplessly… in love with her, even now." He ended the story.

"Wow. That's pretty bad." Ayumi said. Yoshiki sighed, disappointed.

"Can you tell me 3 more facts about that girl? She asked, tilting her head curiously.

"She loves ghost stories." Yoshiki said.

Ayumi jumped a bit.

"She has black hair and blue eyes."

Ayumi's eyes widened.

"And she came with me to Heavenly Host Elementary school." He finished.

Ayumi was speechless. His words stroked right through her heart. And it hurt. Her face was flush red like a tomato.

"So… Do you need me to tell you her name?" Yoshiki said, blushing.

She shook her head. She couldn't said a thing. This truth was too shocking for her.

"I'm….I'm sorry…." Ayumi murmured. _So that was why he tried to separate me from Mochida-kun…_

Ayumi didn't say a word. She kept looking at the cold ground. Yoshiki realized that this might be the signs of rejection.

"Hey… If you still want to keep our distance, then I understand. I just hope that we- you know, could still be friends." Yoshiki managed to say the words. It did hurt.

"Shinozaki..? I guess I should-"

His words were interrupted by Ayumi's sudden action. She jumped up and hugged him, tightly.

"Idiot….! Why don't you tell me sooner…?" She murmured into his shirt. "It must've been hurt…"

Yoshiki was surprised by her action. But he hugged her back anyway.

"I love you, Ayumi." He whispered in her ear.

Ayumi smiled a bit. He called her by her first name. It felt strange, yet so sweet…

Without hesitate, she pulled him in for a kiss.

Yoshiki stunned. The girl of his dream… is kissing him…? He closed his eyes and enjoyed his first kiss.

They separated afterward. Ayumi looked Yoshiki straight in his dark blue eyes.

"I love you too, Yoshiki-kun."

_And there, they were standing, in the freezing weather. No matter how cold the weather was, it could never stop the warmth of their love._

_**THE END**_

**Now that's the end of this story! NOW I can finally have a break cuz my eyes are burning pretty bad from sitting here 3 hours writing this for you guys! Leave a review, tell me if you like it or not, and I'll see you again with a new fanfic! *Spoiler: Naruto fanfic ***** So check it out in the future if you have time! Till then, farewell readers!**

**Miko-chan :3**


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